How to Find a Gamer Girlfriend

The best way to find a gamer girlfriend is to be where women who game already are, and to be someone they would want to play with: a dating site for gamers, communities around the games you both like, and local events, approached with respect rather than a pitch. It takes the same patience as any dating, and the same applies if you are looking for a gamer boyfriend.

Where to meet women who game

Three places work, in roughly this order of directness.

• Dating sites for gamers. Everyone there is looking to date and everyone plays, so nobody is wondering why you messaged. On Gamer Singles Dating you can read what someone plays before you say hello. The gamer girl dating page explains how it works for this.
• Communities around a game. Guilds, clans, fan forums and Discord servers. These are for playing first; a relationship can grow out of them, but treating them as a dating pool is the fastest way to be removed from one.
• Local events. Board game cafés, retro gaming bars, game jams, conventions and esports viewing nights. Our locations pages list the kind of places in each city.

How to start a conversation she will reply to

Read her profile and reply to something in it. "You play Monster Hunter, what's your weapon?" will get an answer far more often than a compliment on a photo. Ask questions you actually want answered, share something of your own, and keep it about the game until she takes it somewhere else. Do not quiz her on whether she is a "real gamer"; it is the most common complaint women who game make about men who game.

Suggest playing together

A session together is the natural next step and lower pressure than a date. Pick something co-operative rather than something where one of you will be carried, and let her choose if she has a favourite. Keep voice chat friendly, do not coach unless asked, and be a good loser.

Mistakes that end it early

• Treating "gamer girl" as a type rather than a person with her own tastes.
• Gatekeeping, quizzing or explaining a game she has played longer than you.
• Sending the same message to everyone. It shows.
• Pushing to move to another app, or for photos, before trust exists.

If you are looking for a gamer boyfriend

The same advice holds the other way round. Say clearly on your profile what you play and what you are looking for, message about shared games, and suggest a co-op session before a date. A dating site for gamers saves you the work of finding out whether he plays, and the free account lets you see who is near you first.

When it is time to meet

Choose somewhere public where you can talk and there is something to do: a board game café, an arcade bar, a convention. Our first date ideas for gamers has a list, and the safety page has the habits worth keeping.

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